


must be fate

by extasiswings



Category: The X-Files
Genre: (mostly), 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Partners to Lovers, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5092001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extasiswings/pseuds/extasiswings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don’t get to choose who handles your heart. There are simply people who were born with it in their teeth. When you meet them, it is best to build a bomb shelter.<br/>— Tara Hardy</p><p>(If they had more time, or if they were different people, she thinks she would pull him into a dark corner for just a few moments and kiss the worry from his lips. If she was a little braver she might take his hand and lace her fingers through his for a second, just a second, to remind herself that she's not alone in this and never has been. </p><p>But they're not. She's not)</p><p>(5+1 touches)</p>
            </blockquote>





	must be fate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shuofthewind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuofthewind/gifts).



> I have fallen headfirst for these two and I have no regrets. 5 touches throughout season 1 + one in season 2. 
> 
> Happy Reading.

1\. Pilot

Scully's not entirely sure why she does it. She's a doctor; there's no reason she couldn't have checked the marks herself. She blames it on lack of sleep and the fear and paranoia that being around this man for only a few days seems to have pulled out of her.

Regardless of the reason, she finds herself in his room— _“I need you to look at something”_ —fumbling with the tie of her robe so she can strip down and show him, so he can tell her that she's losing it, that she's seeing things, or that there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for whatever the marks are that isn't alien abduction.

She only realizes that she didn't think it through when she turns her head to look at him over her shoulder and he slowly lowers to his knees (she knows she's short but is that really necessary). Then he's holding the candle close enough that she can feel the heat from the flame and his fingertips are on her bare skin and although it's hardly inappropriate she also wouldn't call it strictly clinical either, not when she can feel each breath he exhales, not when she has to actively work to keep herself from shivering in a way that has very little to do with the fear of what the marks might mean.

("Mulder, what are they?"

He grins and looks up at her.

"Mosquito bites."

"Are you sure?"

She asks to distract her mind from going down any other paths, but also because once he stands up again the panic comes flooding back.

"Yeah, I got eaten up alive myself out there.")

Hugging him isn't a conscious decision. One moment she's fixing her robe and the next her arms are around him and her face is buried in his chest. All she knows is that he's warm and solid and real and she needs that because she feels like her world is unraveling and she doesn't trust her own mind.

(It's his fault, leading her down this road of inexplicable marks on bodies and bright lights and lost time, and she should blame him and maybe she will, but some other time when she doesn't need warm and solid and real)

"You're shaking," he points out.

She is and she hates it but she can't seem to stop.

"I need to sit down."

"Take your time."

She does.

* * *

 

2\. Ice

They're trapped in a compound in the Arctic and she thinks he might be infected with an unknown parasite but he's begging her to believe that he's not and once more she doesn't know what to do, what to believe, and she trusts him with everything else so she wants to trust him with this too, wants to believe him.

_("I don't trust them. I want to trust you.")_

When she turns to leave, he pulls her back to him and she gasps, thinking for just a moment that maybe she was wrong, maybe she missed something when she checked him over. But then he touches her neck and the look in his eyes says _trust me_ and _please let me_ and _I have to be sure_ and she relaxes. He pulls down the back of her shirt and brushes her hair off her neck and his hands are gentle and careful and warm but there's also a quiet desperation in the way he touches her and she can't help but wonder if it's just the situation they're in or something else.

(She also can't help wondering if he noticed something similar when she touched him)

When they make it out alive, she tries not to think about it at all.

* * *

 

3\. Beyond the Sea

Her father dies and she doesn't know what to do. Work makes the most sense because God knows she's always been good at working no matter what. The thought of taking time off and being left to her own devices makes her skin crawl so, work it is.

The only problem with work is that work comes with Mulder and Mulder is far too observant for his own good. He calls her Dana (it shocks her so much she can't help but repeat it under her breath) and although he doesn't push he's open in a way that says _I'm here_ and _talk to me_ and _let me help you_ and even that is too much to think about so she tries not to.

("I'll go with you. The funeral's at noon."

"I think you should take some time..."

"I need to work."

He takes a step closer and she looks away, but then he's reaching out and cupping her cheek and she can't help looking at him, his gaze earnest and compassionate as his thumb passes lightly over the line of her cheekbone before his hand falls away)

It's not normal. She knows that. Normal, even for other good partners would be a generic 'I'm sorry for your loss' with a sympathy card and a pat on the back, maybe a squeeze of the shoulder or even a hug. But he touches her face instead and she doesn't say a word because it's both too much and not enough at once and she's glad he leaves when he does because she thinks she might start crying and she doesn't want to cry in front of him. Not right now.

(Somehow she thinks he leaves because he knows that and she makes a note to thank him for it someday)

* * *

 

4\. Young at Heart

In general, it takes a lot for Scully to hate someone. But she hates John Barnett. She hates him for the people he's killed, but mostly she hates him for the things he's done to Mulder, the psychological warfare, inflicting the constant look of having the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She decides early on in the case that she'll do just about anything if it means catching this guy, even before she believes that it's actually Barnett. So when the option opens up for her to be bait...well, it's a pretty easy choice for her.

Briefing the other agents is the easy part, it's what comes after that she prefers not to think about. She tries not to let her nerves show, but she can't help fidgeting with the extra set of photos in her hands. She's just started to walk away when Mulder's hand settles on her back.

_("How are you feeling?")_

He's just as nervous as she is, possibly more she thinks, and she's honestly not sure if touching her is more for her sake or his. His hand lingers, though not long enough as far as she's concerned.

(If they had more time, or if they were different people, she thinks she would pull him into a dark corner for just a few moments and kiss the worry from his lips. If she was a little braver she might take his hand and lace her fingers through his for a second, just a second, to remind herself that she's not alone in this and never has been. But they're not. She's not)

It's never long enough as far as she's concerned.

* * *

 

5\. Tooms

Tooms is released on parole, the directors are on her case about her reports, and she's worried about Mulder. She usually worries about Mulder but this time things are different. He's been conducting surveillance by himself for far too long, not sleeping, not eating, and she trusts him, God knows he might be the only person she trusts, but he's going to get himself killed running himself ragged like this.

She tries to talk to him about it, brings him a sandwich and teases him half-seriously about the smell in his car. Sometimes she hates how observant he is and it turns into another example of that because he seems to hear everything she doesn't say on top of what she does and it's not fair, it's not because if she wanted him to hear those things she'd say them outright.

("I don't care about my record, but you'd be in trouble just sitting in this car."

"Fox—"

She says his name for the first time and he laughs, but when he looks back at her there's panic in his eyes mixed with _don't_ and _please_ and _I can't lose you_ and _I'm not worth it_ and so many other things that she's not sure she can name them all.

She tells him she wouldn't put herself on the line for anyone but him and he gets very quiet and just looks at her, looks as if he's never seen her before and she wonders if she's broken some unwritten rule between them, but then he blinks and the moment is gone.

"If there's an iced tea in that bag...could be love."

"Must be fate, Mulder. Root beer."

 _Must be fate_ )

When they finally catch up to Tooms again, this time with solid, definitive evidence, it's too close for her comfort. Mulder grabs her hand and she pulls him out of the crawl space just in time. When he releases her, she has to stop herself from reaching for him again because it was too close, far too close and she is not prepared to lose him, not to Tooms, not to anyone.

* * *

 

 

+1. Little Green Men

The X-Files are shut down and they stop seeing one another in public.

Mulder says it's too dangerous and although she's not sure she would go that far it's true that they are being watched. So they don't meet in public.

He stops greeting her in the halls.

They act as if they hardly know one another.

It hurts.

One of her students makes an offhand comment that something she said sounded a little "spooky" and she thinks about all the whispers that used to call her Mrs. Spooky.

She thinks about the night after they finally stopped Tooms, about the way he pressed his lips to her shoulder and breathed her name against her skin when he finally, _finally_ , slipped a hand between her thighs. She thinks about the night Deep Throat was killed, how she brought Mulder back to her apartment and wrapped her arms around him, trying to get as close as she could because _you could have died, I thought you were dead, I love you please don’t go_.

He goes missing and she finds him. She finds him because that's just how they work, official partners or not.

The tape they manage to bring back from Puerto Rico is blank and she feels like screaming in frustration.

("You still have nothing."

"I may not have the X-Files, Scully but I still have my work."

So low she's not entirely sure he means for her to hear it, he tacks on, "Still have you.")

When he sits down again, she hesitates for just a brief moment before taking his hand and squeezing it. He doesn't return it, but he doesn't have to. She knows well enough where they stand.

She still has him, too.


End file.
